I have always lost out to other guys...eventually.
I mean I have never had a problem meeting and hooking up with beautiful intelligent women. In fact, not so long ago my step-uncle approached me at a wedding party and laughingly said "How do you do it? You always show up with the most amazing women. It boggles my mind."
Of course he failed to note that they are usually different every year or so.
So you have to factor that in as part of the paradigm.
I can get them, but cannot keep them.
This morning I hit a new low when I lost out to Spongebob Squarepants.
I have to seriously find a new paradigm.
I lost several women because I drank too much. That's a fact. I lost another, well because there never was any real connection. I lost a few to other men who were more, oh...lets just say, economically viable than I often am. There were a few women who were just plain mean and no man could withstand their wrath.
Then there is bad timing. For some odd reason often women show up in twos. I'm serious.
I always pick the wrong one.
(Of course, given our thesis, it really would not matter eventually). Had I chosen D over K eventually D would have found an escape hatch. Had I chosen T or L she would have put up with me for the same decade then jumped ship.
It's kinda of a nautical thing.
The common denominator is obvious: It's all their fault for lack of vision.
(Just kidding.)
No, the common denominator is always me.
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But it's a curious thing to be beat out by a spongy yellow cartoon character. I admit, he is a lot more jolly than me, makes more money, is always upbeat (hence revealing my more broodish side and depressed Swedish side), and his friends are pretty entertaining.
Damn. I wish I had a goofy pink starfish friend about now. Either that or I could live under his rock.
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Some of it must just be age.
I'm 47 and, well, while still "cute" I lack that godlike character that I had 15 to 20 years ago that, of course, I was unaware of and never used...then.
Life can be so cruel, and timing is highly under-rated.
So now I have to rely on humor, intelligence and astonishing sexual technique. All of which I have in abundance, and you would think that would be enough.
Naw.
Because there are other things (and I know several of my Ex's read these posts and are enjoying this. Enjoy ladies.)
Yeah...I hack, and spit at inappropriate times...and I try and start long theological conversations in the middle of the night. And I am an affection whore and plagued by personal demons. I also listen to the same 3 CDs all day long and I often drink too much and then whine about it.
Worse, I make 10k one month then nothing for the next three. I'm obviously bi-polar as I can be charming and sweet one day and an utter ass the next.
All of which is why I have always lost these good and fine women to Bill and Mike, Jim, Harold, Ron, Sven, Rudy and now, finally, er, Spongebob.
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Okay, okay, my approach was not smooth.
On the weekends, she likes to get up and watch Spongebob in the morning while having her coffee.
I think that's reasonable.
But I had, in my own defense, warned her the night before (after she woke up most of the neighbors with delighted moanings and cries of utter satisfaction) that come daylight I might want to have my own turn.
So I was dismayed when my advances were shunned in favor of a cup of Columbian Roast and a new episode of Spongebob.
What kind of loser loses out to Java (which can be, after all, still sipped in bed) and a cartoon character (especially since there is a fresh VHS tape in the machine)?
What a loser.
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Now admittedly, it was a new episode.
Second, we all know men and women are hard-wired differentely for sex.
Men are often like Samurai. Once the blade (or the idea of the blade) has been unsheathed, it must, er...well you get the point. Days later, the guy is still walking around muttering..."omigod...something has to be done...". Sometimes he just takes matters into his own hands. Other times this is not enough. Especially if he is in love and his woman is very beautiful.
Lucky me. True on both counts.
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So I lost today to a new sponge. That use to have a different meaning in which you actually "won".
But it is really not about sex. It's about connection, not contraception or anything otherwise.
I can prove this even though I am a passionate male built to pursue.
Because I really love this woman.
I know every man is not this way, but when I wake up and look over at my woman I note how her dark hair slides over her soft shoulders. I note how she smells and the the wonderful curves of her body feel good and real.
I reslish these things...right then.
She just wants to sleep. She even snores while I think these things.
When she wakes up she does not look over at me and fawn over me in similar fashion.
She might, once a week, go "ahhh..he's kinda cute". But that would be that, then roll over and go back to sleep.
No it's me who wakes up at 6:32 a.m. with full bonophone ("Hey..how you doin?") on and next to a beauty that I have every ability to fully appreciate. And I am tortured.
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It's been no different in the past. Is it just me? Are other men like this?
Yes and no.
Some are...there are a bunch of us out there and you women largely ignore us because you are use to the other men who objectify, use and then reject you.
Word.
I know these men, the good ones...a lot of them. They are beautiful and fine.
But no, you choose the Neanderthals...the Users , the Shallowmen, the Players.
Why?
I have no fucking idea.
But you do.
(Splain it to me Lucy....")
Please splain.
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all for today..more manana
8 comments:
Hmmmm, i really can't splain for you, i am not sure you were actually looking for one either.
However, it is clear that you deeply love her and i will keep you two in prayer that somehow a connection can be made for the two of you in which you both can be at one with each other. Kinda cool distinct but one.
I am sincere in this. It is the best i have to offer.
Brother,
First, this needs to be submitted today to every male magazine in existence. It is truly outstanding, biut I am never going to tell you this again unless you promise to submit it. YOu need to get paid for this. It is really good.
Second, I will keep you in my prayers.
Okay Rick...I will. I promise. Today.
damn straight, you'd better!
Because most women (foolishly) believe they can always do better or find a better man.
Like, why stay with the nice wonderful guy who adores me when I can get a nice wonderful guy who adores me AND is HOT?!!
Of course that combo never happens, and these women end up chasing dreams and hopes instead of learning to appreciate what they have.
It's the exact same thing men fall prey to, so don't act like it's a man/woman thing. It's a deluded dream-chasing materialistic thing, people thinking "If only I had THIS, I would be happy forever!" Of course that's not the way life works. You have to learn to be happy with what you have, or else nothing you get will ever make you happy.
Relationships take work and they will never be perfect and have both parties happy all the time. It takes a lot to satisfy each other and sacrifices must be made sometimes.
Of course there's a danger in "settling" too. But overall I think people should just learn to enjoy what they have when they have it, rather than always yearning towards an unattainable future.
and also because we believe this lie about ourselves that says "you aren't worth that guy who will actually treat you right . . . you only deserve this asshole. but at least you aren't alone."
pretty shitty i'd say.
you know what i thought as i read this? "you don't know that she's not looking down at you, thinking the same things..."
i know.
i'm her.
not literally of course. but trust me, she's looking when you don't know it.
as far as sponge bob goes? my husband and i have gone round and round about this. indirectly. the security of love means that the good sex will be there when sponge bob is over. it is not choosing sponge bob over you.
it is security.
when sex is new in a relationship... you have it lots. you don't know when it will happen again. even if your thoughts are unconcious... somewhere you know, "this may be our last time together..."
later when security comes, you know that you can have good sex after sponge bob.
that is not rejection. that is a high compliment.
at least when it comes from me.
This whole series you wrote is great!
I do want to focus on one question that you posed in this post in particular.
It's been no different in the past. Is it just me? Are other men like this?
Yes and no.
Some are...there are a bunch of us out there and you women largely ignore us because you are use to the other men who objectify, use and then reject you.
Word.
I know these men, the good ones...a lot of them. They are beautiful and fine.
But no, you choose the Neanderthals...the Users , the Shallowmen, the Players.
Why?
I have no fucking idea.
But you do.
The splaining i give is that women by and large have been given messages that they are servants. Hence the attraction to the users, shallowmen and players. The woman is the one who 'made' those men to be that way. Of course we know that is horseshit, but still a message has been given to women and many women still buy it. The message is, a woman must 'earn' to be adored. It is pathetic but that is the message.
Of course the church as a whole doesn't help alleviate this message, because the church will tell you that if a man goes 'elsewhere' for sex, then obviously he is not being 'satisfied at home'. It makes me sick that an excuse is given for a man to break a trust and a woman has none. See what i am saying? A woman does not have the right to feel and to be adored just for being a woman.
ALL woman are to be adored, it is how they are made, they need to know they are beautiful.
Now women are retaliating and have become hard and force thier 'independence' on men. They make damn sure that men know that they are not 'needed' . The only drawback to that is that a woman becomes bitter in constantly 'proving' they are self reliant. Then there is the opposite side of the pendulum where a woman will do just about anything to be adored, which splains the neanderthals etc...
If only both men and women would admit that we need each other.
Men are strong and warrior like and woman are soft, tender and vulnerable.
Although we are very different from each other we are equal.
I need a man, and men can play various roles in my life.
I need a man as friend only, his role and particpation in my friendship is important, sometimes i may have a situation with my husband in which i need to voice it and my man friend is there to listen and reveal a perspective that i would not be able to see. He has been a strength too, when i have needed a strong shoulder to cry on and he was there.
And the opposite, i have been a place of 'sounding' when he has been struggling in his relationship. I was able to offer a tenderness in his struggles with encouragment and respect.
The most important thing is that it is not even close to being sexual, it is friendship, and this friendship brings glory to God. Because we both are the image of God.
(i accentuate the friendship because i do think we understand the more intimate and sexual aspect of men and women and the glory and image of God it represents.)
Its an equal partnership in friendship and as lovers.
Lets pray that we can learn to accept ourselves as God has made us and be respected, loved and adored as the men and women we are meant to be.
To Gods glory.
so i don't know how lucy will splain it, but this is how eve splains it
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