This post was originally a post gone too long at Greg's outstanding site HERE. The MacMan asked to post it here as it does not fit any of his lame politically activist or personal sites. I have obliged him here as I am, er The Infamous Simon Templar (and yes, that doggone halo still happens all the time...it's embarassing really).
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Pinch-hitting by Mac.
Sex (for the uninitated...this is a person not an activity...well it's both. Sex's husband gets a threesome everytime) asked about my use of baseball terms in describing her writing.
I will explain here.
For some reason there are not a few of us (yes, usually men) who see baseball as the perfect metaphor for everything. It is very sexy and cool when a woman also gets the baseball thing, but few do. I recently read Allie's Blog and got very excited because she really knows baseball, is a rabid Dodgers fan, very sexy, is "a Betty with the Sex drive of a Veronica" and is just plain hot.
My chance as a Giant to FUCK the Dodgers! (No Boutros Allie...all in fun sweetheart.)
As a long-time Giants fan we do not care as much about winning the pennant as we do FUCKING the Dodgers as much as possible.
(Goddamn Penguin...)
Anyway, fucking the Bums aside, baseball has so many nuances and aspects, positions, plays and history that you can frame almost anything with it.
By the way, read Anne Lamott on this...talk about Intelligent Spirituality! Traveling Mercies is the book to start with if you have not already read it 4 times.
So, to me, writing with intelligence, heart and also a sense of audience is like pitching.
And the rest of life can be understood in other baseball metaphors (and it's my idea so do not steal it).
A mediocre pitcher (like the Giants seem to be fielding of late...whimper) will throw in the low 90s, not hit the corners...fool no batter and will get his ass kicked in quick order.
They demand no respect. They are soon asked to "step away from the mound".
"Grab some pine meat".
They win maybe 4 or 5 games a season. They live in constant fear because they just do not have the "stuff", and they just bought a $450,000 house with much of their $200,000 signing bonus.
Anne Lamott has the Stuff. She's a guaranteed 20 game winner every season. She can put a fastball up by your ear that you never saw coming, then drop a change-up off the table and make you blush and go back to the dugout wishing you had stayed in Pop Warner football.
Of course there are different types of pitchers. Some rely on blazing and intimidating speed (Hunter Thompson), others on guile and cunning (Walker Percy).
So anyway, when I said to Greg that "Sex" could throw heat up by a guy's ear it was a definite compliment.
Greg? Phenomenal young talent. Speed AND a change-up. If he develops a curveball we are all doomed in the best of all possible ways.
I can give examples if you like.
The next post will be on BATTING.
8 comments:
ok, thanks lots. I'll try and keep 'em coming.
and, um, confession time. I loathe baseball. To me it's only an excuse to sit around and drink beer, and who needs an excuse?
Ah...you miss the Zen quality of Baseball.
That is it's beauty.
You can have conversations with others, drink good beer, get sunshine, and there is an unfolding drama in front of you that waxes and wanes.
But mostly in person. Football is always best in front of the tele. Basketball can be good in either venue..but best in person.
Baseball is like a giant party with a beautiful floor show...and you can pay attention or not. No matter.
But for analogy it is awesome.
Have you read Lamott?
I have read some Lamont and she's ok. King's On Writing did more for me though. I think my style of working is much closer to his. I could go into this deeper, but nah.
Yeah, I've heard that Zen crap before. I've been to games. Still hate it. I have young children. I got plenty of waxing and waning drama in my life, and thank god plenty of beer and sunshine too. As far as the conversation goes, isn't that why I keep you and Greg around?
Boy am I argumentative on your blog today. Sorry. :P
You think you're the one argumentative of his blog?
He doesn't like the dodgers. Therefore from here on, I'm no longer giving validity to anything he says ever ever again, period.
Okay...NO One has made me laugh harder in weeks than Greg.
OMIGOD.
Yes, we understand each other.
I cannot be trusted and neither can you.
So let's get to some good work.
Yer a piece of work man.
Surfing and a great curve ball..I'm beginning to think I might win you over Nic.
Of course..I cannot do either in the real world....damn.
Cool Cat nails it. You can relax, have a great conversation...whent he game intensifies you can feel it. It's very Zen.
I would just like to know, when is the 7th inning stretch, before or after the inning?
Could use a good stretch.
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