"I killed the wabbit....poor wittle bunny..."

I keep getting this spam. I have filters but some shit gets through like obnoxious offers to re-fiance my home (i do not have one) or invest in the Stock Market (I have no money).

Eat me.

But the one that really gets me is the Jack Rabbit.

(Hear Mel Blanc saying "It IS the Ra-bitt!")

Of course it is just another household appliance because it has the red "As Seen On TV" sticker on it. So ya know it is good. Damn good. Like a Ronco Potato Peeler or a George Foreman Grill, or OXyClean or Ernest Borgnine anti-aging creme.

All good.

So rather than your man actually having to learn how to please you, you can buy this little Hot Rod.

Let's see what is under the hood (No Homo, No Anti-Semite...damn that is funny)

The Jack Rabbit Vibrator is a dual control multi-speed vibrating and rotating 7 1/2" x 1 1/2" Vibrator. Made of a bright pink, pliant jelly, the tip is realistically sculpted. The rotating pearls in the center of the shaft provide both internal and external stimulation to all her sensitive spots While the pearled shaft rotates and vibrates, massaging her inside, the Jack Rabbit's ears are busy tickling her clitoris outside. The shaft and stimulator are controlled separately, so she can customize her experience every time.

Rotating gawdaamn pearls?!!! (No Fundie)

Oh Fugh Me. It's the damned Darth Vader Death Star of vibration. (No Lucas)

I despair. (No Kierkegaard)

They use to say "the rabbit died" when conception happened. Now the damned think is named "Jack" and it does both parts!?

And you can just hear Jack..."well I guess this is as good as it gets..." and it is like purchasing a fughing sports car.

Well, I am strictly a hand operator and I do not need a goddamn 350 horsepower pearl-gyrating semi-pliant pink jelly-filled rotataing rabbit-eared 147-channel widescreen dish-operated vaginal probe to replace my simple love, devotion and creativity.

I killed the wabbit...poor wittle bunny...

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And do not believe what you see on TV. Those people are perverts and morons. No one who lives there is real and you are.

Word.