PERCEPTIONS Part Four

The Emperor's New Clothes, a story we all know for the most part, has a simple lesson.

We are all naked. Naked we came, and naked we go.

In between we dress ourselves in various garbs, live many roles, and have many views which changes with time.

Meanwhile, naked is naked. Perception is a way of perceiving or covering such nakedness.

We view ourselves in the mirror most every day. It's truly amazing what we may see there depending upon our internal filters.

Then those filters are trained outward onto others.

The filters are useful to a certain point (without them we could not function) but they also clog and often have to be tossed.

My filters yesterday, as Sex pointed out, where turned a little too inward...perhaps defensive and narcissistic. So that implies degrees of filtration. I'll point you to her tight and direct reflection HERE.

__________________

Because of my narcisscism yesterday some of my real point may have been muted or lost. Put simply, a metaphysical exploration was mired by my own stuff.

But I could not see that yesterday. Someone else had to point it out.

Which is a point about interdependence and also openess.

Anyway, I was grateful to my friend for suggesting I change my filters and also for suggesting it was also an object lesson at the same time.

Smart woman that Sex.

_______________________

Okay the Photo below. Have you seen it and thought about it?

Hope so, but either way I'll tell you the simple story.

It was taken in the elevator at the Museum of Modern Art in San Francisco in 1992. On the ceiling there are these circular mirrors. The young folk in the picture looked up as the photographer shot their reflected images in the ceiling at MOMA.

It's interesting to look at their faces and places in the picture.

In the center is a young anarchist with a great sense of humor. On the outskirts a young woman who has a lot going on, but is on the outside.

The others seem (to me, it is only my perception) pretty amused by the whole exercise (as they were the exhibit, which I hear tell was Matisse and his infamous "cutouts").

___________________________

St. Paul, (who is grossly misunderstood and hardly ever read by the way) talks about perceiving reality as through "a glass darkly". He admits that despite his own revelations he only saw "in part". Other mystics say the same and they are far more adept than we are.

Under the banner of "modernity" we became use to Reason as the way of perception. That has not been unproductive, but has also become suspect as the end all and be-all. (Thus the rise of Post Modernism, which I applaud).

In a Post Modern context we can invite in a flexible web of lenses and find correlations.

What correlations?

Relevance and Resonance.

My friend's comments on Part Two this morning sang with resonance and relevance. It turned my vision.

It rebooted my perception, if that makes an sense.

________________

We perceive, through Quantum Theory, that the Universe is far more Relational than we ever guessed. Decades ago we might have talked about Eco-systems (and still may...it is helpful) and living systems.

Now we know more. Or, perceive more of what is.

For sure, it may be the tip of the iceberg. That is what Sex suggests in her essay. I have to agree. She says "we are pea-sized and pea-brained little bits of fluff in a giant, king-sized mattress".

Ya gotta love that.

It reminded me of Frederick Beauchner who says that God trying to describe his own nature to us is like our trying to describe being human to a "little-necked clam" on the beach.

We have some real limitations. Which is why arrogance is out of the question and humility is invited in to talk.

__________________

PERCEPTIONS Part Three

I stole this from Azotuscafe.com. Let them sue me.

____________________________

Narcissism.

What Walker Percy called "the suck of self" has a great deal of impact on our perceptions.

Look at the photograph above for awhile. Can you make out what it is?

Take your time.

I'll get back to YOU.

PERCEPTIONS Part Two

Oil on board. J. Rod Swenson.

______________________

For reasons I cannot exactly fathom, Kierkegaard often wrote in such a manner as to purposely be obtuse and difficult. He had his reasons for this but it kinda pisses me off because he really covers a huge amount of ground if you can get through his thick prose.

All that being said, Kierkegaard occasionally tooks his perceptions of life and reality and stated them plainly like this little diddy:

"Life can only be understood looking backward, but must be lived forward."

I received an email from a person I casually mentioned (anonymously of course) in Part One of this article. This person is very bright and passionate and she says she writes to help me "see" things, which is what this little series is about.

There are many ways to view her letter but here are the salient points (without details).

She wishes to help me see what she perceives as my current situation (which she sees as harmful)

She wishes me to see myself in a different light.

She also continues to email me while telling me any email responses are blocked (which means it is not a conversation at all, but really just her continuing to send me emails about her perceptions of me).

Now except for the last point, (which I will deal with in short order) I have some choices in how I read and perceive her email.

A counselor of mine once cautioned (and its a very good check) against going to "motive". It is a hard thing for us to do, but I agree with him. Or, if we do go to motive (trying to guess it) then best to give the benefit of the doubt.

So in this case, I could put on my "sunglasses" and cooly dismiss all of her words as simple anger or an attempt to manipulate me.

I choose not to. In fact, I choose to perceive her words at as much face value as possible. Genuine concern, her own view for my benefit...trying to help.

(By the way Lads, this is the danger of hanging out with really smart women).

But we part company on how we perceive (as much as I consider what she says) the situation.

She sees my relationship as a detriment to my well-being.

Is it?

No.

In fact, if she had all the facts (she claims to know everything about me after spending one whole night and a day at the beach) she would see that the only thing threatening me, is, er ME.

She sees it as a closed door and I see at as an open one.

Perceptions.

_______________________

In fact, the woman who I live with is the kindest, most respectful and mature woman I have ever met (and I have met some fine women in my time).

It would be hard for this other woman to understand because, like me, she only got one quick snapshot of her.

She has no idea. She has a quick poloroid in a dicey moment. I have home movies for almost a year.

Perceptions.

She is a woman who I have unfairly tested for my own reasons on all of my really deeper issues. Loyalty, honesty, forgiveness, compassion and passion.

Through all of these subconscious tests (and I believe most of them were) she has been magnificent. (Okay, it also does not hurt that she is beautiful).

I like to say with her that "what I see is what I get", which as you can see is germane to this issue of perception.

This one always tells me the totality of her mind without inneuendo or accusation. She has done a lot of work and freely admits that had we met earlier she would have been quite toxic.

So we live in a free, democratic and unrepressed house. It is full of respect, care and honesty. There is also kindness.

If anyone is toxic, it is me.

So, I am a blessed man.
______________________

Now I am also a curious man by nature. So I wonder about someone who cuts off communication, but keeps writing you emails that you cannot respond to.

WTF?

It is risky to go to motive. So I won't.

But I will say this in general, and that is "over-communication is under-rated", which is to say the more openly and graciously we talk the better on all fronts.

I have other "Ex-flames" that I can do this with because their hearts are that large. One wrote me today to inquire after my health. It was a sweet aqnd sincere gesture.

Even my Ex-wife and I have negotiated a caring and very respectful relationship (and if ya haven't figured it out...yes..there seem to be a lot of Ex's...I am not an easy man apparently. I see the truth in that. I think I am worth it, some of them didn't. It's okay.) I take her phone calls and care about her, and vice-versa. She and my girlfreind get along well and respect each other.

There is peace and mutual support.

____________________

None of us lives "without frames or glasses". We all have an interpretive grid which we overlay over raw experience. Like Heisenberg's Theory, none of us is truly outside the system looking in. By our own participation we change the result of what we observe. We are in the petri dish we are examining and we add to it as we watch.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. It's outside morality per se. In some spiritual traditions it is at the very core of that spirituality. In an age of Rationalism, Reason and Economics we can hear the faint echo of St, Paul saying that what really lasts is Faith, Hope and Love.

Different lenses.

____________________

I woke up the other evening at around 3 a.m. I did not feel at all well. In fact, I felt as if I was dying. Given my age, considerable size, and physical "issues" (a virtual mall it would seem) I did what , well, I did what I did. I prayed.

I am not a religious man. Far from it. In fact, I think religion is the enemy of Faith, Hope and Love. It divides where real Faith, Hope and Love unite and make connection.

But I think God pretty much hates Religion as well...not the people mind you...just the Ideology that divides and brings such suffering.

So I felt my heart racing and I thought I might die.

I thought it ironic. I have been through so much in life. The death of my brother on the day I was born, two failed marriages to very fine women, being ordaiend a priest of sorts, becoming a renegade poet and artist. I am a Saint, but one by Grace not via my performance. I am one of the most loving men I have ever known. I am also one of the most fallible.

Ironic because I finally have all I need and wanted. But I might be dying.

Well, we will see. Probably not going to die today. So I write.

In the breech here is a lesson in perception. The Universe is relational. Deeply so. You may not possess the power to perceive it as such but there are so many who have and do. I meet them all the time.

I choose (as one current cultural lens) to call them "Jedi".

They perceive the various "spheres" of existence...the levels that co-exist and ebb and flow around us contsantly exchanging energy..perhaps even love.

To be sure, it is usually poets, artists, madmen (and madwomen), mystics and small children that see these things most clearly. They cannot help but see. It's difficult for many of them (except the kids).

My daughter is a Jedi (like her father before her). Her mother and I openly talk about this and how to support her given her special gifts.

The young men are strong, fine and extremely intelligent. But they will be spared the burden and joy of this perception...for the most part.

At least that is how I see it. I could always be wrong.

I often am.
__________________

Anyway the thought of death, real death...not theorhetical...but real and personal has a different interpretation depending on our perception.

The only touchstone is that it will happen.

You will die. So will I.

So when you feel it in whatever foxhole you end up in, you have a few choices. I choose to talk with God because I think God hates Religion and loves people. I cannot tell you how I came to this conclusion and perception. Perhaps it is Grace, perhaps Madness and Illusion.

Time will tell.

But I woke up in a foxhole and I am not sure I have crawled out yet.

Funny that.

____________________________


So I woke up and swam within the Trinity.

Serious.

I did the backstroke in utter safety and love.

The Universe is relational and at the Center of that Relationship God has a Triune Relationship with God's Own Self.

Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

It is a doctrine debated for 1800 years. No one gets it really. We do not have a way to frame it. But it is what it is. It is a Mystery.

The Father Loves the Son and the Spirit. The Spirit Loves the Son and Father. The Son Loves the Father and Spirit.

My girlfriend counts this as six relationships, not three. I disagree, but she might be right. I'm just a "guy".

I personally think we lack the language to frame it, but maybe we have the glasses to see?

_____________________________

Part Three Manana

PERCEPTIONS Part One

Oil on Canvas. Christopher C. MacDonald

______________________________

My new friend Sex (no that is not a joke, it is her moniker and a damned fine one) recently wrote on perception.

We have discussed this some and I've had a number of small events come together at once (which happens if you pay attention).

SO STRAP ON YOUR SAFETY BELTS LADIES AND GENTLEMAN BECAUSE WE ARE GOING FOR A RIDE!

It came together when my neighbor came to ask me to look at the bottom of an old brass...er thingy. She was washing it off and thought that on the underneath side there was a "painting" and would I have a look.

My neighbors often come and ask me questions. They perceive me to be an open and non-judgmental and generally kind person who cares. I perceive myself that way to. I care. I listen..I'm honest.

So we all agree on that.

But she and I did not agree on the brass thingy and the painting. I saw only remnants of some old paint and some wear and tear. I did not see a "picture".

She did.

But maybe not now.

But she did before.

She looked sheepish afterward, like she had done something wrong or been foolish.

I assured her this was not true.

So I told her a story about how I once was once going to get my mail and had not put my glasses on. As I walked I saw a couple ahead of meet about 30 feet ahead in an embrace. I felt embarrassed but I needed by mail so I kept walking.

As I got closer my nearsighted vision clarified and I saw that the couple was, in fact, a dumpster piled with boxes.

Perception. Vision. Glasses (or better yet, lenses).

____________________

Well my neighbor laughed very hard at that story. In fact, she doubled over.

I think I made her day.

In my view there are three factors. There is the brass thingy as it is. There is my perception of it, and hers.

There is the object and we are subjects.

Simple.

__________________________

But we humans are a bundle of language, perception ideas, nature and ideas (and ideals).

We "frame" things and our "frames" often seek to try and rule simple existence.

And we are rarely aware of how much our own existence colors everything.

If you doubt this take any major issue of your life (sex, love, death, children, meaning, spirituality) and look at it through your own glasses at age 10, 20, 30, 40.

That should do it.

Do it twice and call me in the morning.

Then extrapolate from there for the years that may or may not come for you.

__________________________


A few weeks back my perception of my relationship with my woman was that we were essentially over. She was checked out (read below).

My perception of the situation was mistaken.

And I am a very smart guy and sensitive too. But sometimes you are just flat out mistaken.

Perceptions.

Was I wrong to perceive that she was "checked out"?

No.

Was I correct in perceiving that we were "done"?

No.

Not even close.

_______________________

In the meantime I contacted (in very unSaintly manner) an ex-flame.

A beautiful woman, intoxicating in her own way.

Why?

Well it is fairly obvious, but not to me at the time so very much.

I realize now it was a kind of emergency flare for what I perceived (note that) as a dying relationship. Of course that was not at all fair to this woman, or my woman, and she (the other) has exacted my due penance not a few times since then (which becomes ironic in a bit).

I did not blame her.

Of course, my own perception was that my woman perceived her as nothing but a threat. And I cannot say I disagreed with that. But I also perceivd a lot more than that. And I'll leave it at that (which will piss both of them off given their perceptions of me)

Which only proves my point...or, er...perceptions.

__________________

I've been banging this idea around with both Sex and Greg. Objective real Truth but also subjectivity. They are both wicked smart and have their own views (perceptions).

I do not always agree, but I listen and like how they view things. I like their "glasses"...their lenses.

Imagine a world without glasses.

Most of us wear then in some capacity or another. Some of us are far-sighted, some near-sighted. But we all get more clarity with the glasses...the lenses.

Imagine your world without any glasses.

(Oh...and most of us, sooner or later, need bi-focals.)

________________________

BASEBALL, SEX & PITCHING

This post was originally a post gone too long at Greg's outstanding site HERE. The MacMan asked to post it here as it does not fit any of his lame politically activist or personal sites. I have obliged him here as I am, er The Infamous Simon Templar (and yes, that doggone halo still happens all the time...it's embarassing really).
________________________________

Pinch-hitting by Mac.

Sex (for the uninitated...this is a person not an activity...well it's both. Sex's husband gets a threesome everytime) asked about my use of baseball terms in describing her writing.

I will explain here.

For some reason there are not a few of us (yes, usually men) who see baseball as the perfect metaphor for everything. It is very sexy and cool when a woman also gets the baseball thing, but few do. I recently read Allie's Blog and got very excited because she really knows baseball, is a rabid Dodgers fan, very sexy, is "a Betty with the Sex drive of a Veronica" and is just plain hot.

My chance as a Giant to FUCK the Dodgers! (No Boutros Allie...all in fun sweetheart.)

As a long-time Giants fan we do not care as much about winning the pennant as we do FUCKING the Dodgers as much as possible.

(Goddamn Penguin...)

Anyway, fucking the Bums aside, baseball has so many nuances and aspects, positions, plays and history that you can frame almost anything with it.

By the way, read Anne Lamott on this...talk about Intelligent Spirituality! Traveling Mercies is the book to start with if you have not already read it 4 times.

So, to me, writing with intelligence, heart and also a sense of audience is like pitching.

And the rest of life can be understood in other baseball metaphors (and it's my idea so do not steal it).

A mediocre pitcher (like the Giants seem to be fielding of late...whimper) will throw in the low 90s, not hit the corners...fool no batter and will get his ass kicked in quick order.

They demand no respect. They are soon asked to "step away from the mound".

"Grab some pine meat".

They win maybe 4 or 5 games a season. They live in constant fear because they just do not have the "stuff", and they just bought a $450,000 house with much of their $200,000 signing bonus.

Anne Lamott has the Stuff. She's a guaranteed 20 game winner every season. She can put a fastball up by your ear that you never saw coming, then drop a change-up off the table and make you blush and go back to the dugout wishing you had stayed in Pop Warner football.

Of course there are different types of pitchers. Some rely on blazing and intimidating speed (Hunter Thompson), others on guile and cunning (Walker Percy).

So anyway, when I said to Greg that "Sex" could throw heat up by a guy's ear it was a definite compliment.

Greg? Phenomenal young talent. Speed AND a change-up. If he develops a curveball we are all doomed in the best of all possible ways.

I can give examples if you like.

The next post will be on BATTING.

Spiderweb

The following is a response to Greg's post today. He had warned me in an IM that he was gonna tackle this and I am utterly taken by it. I even think the "context" of recovery from being shitfaced adds. My responses will be in italics.

Usually when I drink my ass off the night before, I get a bit more reflective than usual the next morning. I was shitfaced last night so by my very nature, I must ramble on.

I kinda think it is we are pretty in touch with mortality and our animal nature (creeeech!blah!).

I've been thinking alot about concepts. I like concepts. They are like Penthouses for mental masturbation. When I think, I try to think as if words did not exist. People often muttle around with words as entities in and of themselves, ignoring the layers and layers of reality beneath them and being represented by them. As if they were reading poetry for its face value; things get confusing. One starts asking himself, "What the fuck is the deal with that empty, cracked vase?" To me, every single word in this buckyball of a language is a fragment of a poem waiting to be analyzed.

I was criticizing "rationalism" earlier today, but it's guys like Peter Berger and Thomas Luckmann who have demonstrated that the "reality" we so often deal with as "objective" is a "linguistic construct". Or maybe to put it more poetically (you know how I love Pascal) "All the gold in the world has no value without our consent."

Therein lies the concepts. And I was thinking the other day. Well, ya know how there is a Theory of Everything in science? Because fundamentally it makes sense that complexity is constructed upon simplicity, among other reasons. That all has to do with matter, but I was wondering how this Theory of Everything applies to concepts as well. Which isn't to say that every concept stemmed from one singular concept. That wouldn't make sense. Or maybe it does. It would essentially mean however, that everything is somehow interconnected, or most likely overlapping. Duh, right? Yet what does this do to the concepts of right or wrong? If there are so many ways to view reality.

It may have little to do with "right and wrong" but simply what IS.

Is it right or wrong for people to be relational, or are they simply so?

Being that, it is possible for something to exist in our language yet not exist in an utmost sense.

Great question. Does a pink polka-dotted elephant exist in reality? No...but the idea is there. Human beings can create whole worlds with words that do not exist and never will...I think.

And many times language will set people on the wrong path. Right and wrong are a false dichotomy. It is Dubbyah-Bush-Think. They are lumper words. Someone can be wrong, yet still maintain some rightness. But the concepts themselves nudge people to polarize their view into something tidy. Such as being entirely wrong or entirely right. But that is wrong, am I not right?

This is my favorite part of your essay. Love it.

There may be dichotomies in "Truth" also Trichotomies...also Paradox and 30 other epistemologies that are inter-related.

You are right that we are currently being "Polarized" by a black and whiteness, and for economic and political (rhetorical) purposes. But are not so limited.

I have another theory I have been working on called "Depth Pluralism". It may provide not the "Answer", but a least healthy new pathways for deeper discussion. Discussions like this one.

Which isn't to say that there is no right or wrong. Bad logic is simply wrong, even if logic has its parameters. I just think this linear train of thinking has to go.

Once again I tip my cap. Relativism is a self-made trap, but so is rigid certainty. You state it well.

A linear train is helpful in some areas, but does not match up with all the avenues we now know exist and those which have yet to be discovered.

Concepts evolve, branch off, one train of thought leads to another, which leads to another, until the two paradigms of thought are unrecognizable to each other; yet the relationship between them still exists. And everything in between them is worthwhile to explore.

Are you sure you are not 57 and a Lurker?

Fuck that is good.

Rosemary Haughton wrote about this, briefly, in a little seen book way back called "The Passionate God". It was ostensibly theology, but she was doing far more.

I'll try and dig it up and send you two some relevant quotes to riff off of. But if I remember, the gist was about how ideas and concepts bump into each other and create something utterly new.

But anyways I'm gonna go take a nap because my head is pounding and I drank too much last night. But one last thing. My friend the other day got things confused and called me a nihilist. Far from it. While nihilist say we cannot know, I say that's not the only way to know. The problem is, once we think we know, we stop looking. What ever happened to being like a child?

Good luck recovering...yikes...you are no Nihilist. You are seeking with intelligence and heart and the last line is a thing of beauty. Forget the "Fundies" ...Jesus would grin and say you got it.

I look forward to future discussions.

DIVERSION

"If our condition were truly happy, we would not seek diversion from it in order to make ourselves happy"~ Blaise Pascal.

So says our friend Pascal in the 1600s.

Not much has changed.

I chose the art above because Jolie is a Matrix of diversion: sexual diversion, movie/film diversion, pop culture diversion, tabloid diversion, fashion diversion, Pitt diversion.

The above photo is instructive. A seductive pose, the sign of the Cross which is also a bit of a Dagger; voluptuous breasts and a dark seductive outfit.

Jennifer never stood a chance, and she herself is a diversion...just the TV version.

Meanwhile, why do we need to be so diverted? What is it about our condition that we must be constantly entertained and diverted from simple being?

Is Pascal right?

The Girl in the Cafe

I dunnah usually do serious stuff...but this film is worth seeing on the 25th of June. For more info, hit MAC's Azotus site.

Why Van Gogh Shot Himself

It's pretty simple.

You have this idea in your head. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

You keep working it...it's a horrible process. Maddening...torturous.

Worse..if you have done some really good paintings (and I have...though like Van Gogh I have never actually sold one) the pressure is one to maintain that level of art.

Expect updates here and there. We have no fire arms in the house.

Dammit.

Fish and Chips

Lindsey found this and we are all grateful.

It is actually about time that some Mega-Church stepped forward and started mass-producing Jesus chips (served with the appropriately shaped Icthus "fish" sticks).

It might be a church like this one.

WWPS? (what Would Pascal Say?)

"Nothing gives rest but the sincere search for the perfect chip. Next, one needs good dip."

Okay, okay...Pascal said "truth" instead of "perfect chip". And he "didn't mention the dip".

Little Frog had no sense of humor.

Objects May be farther away than they appear...

Okay. These are not real breasts. I mean they are, but they have been surgically "enhanced". They are more like flotation devices.

Help me I'm drowning!

No serious website about human "thoughts" would be complete without a meditation on boobs.

Face it. Half the human species thinks about them every 17 seconds. Therefore it is a major topic, er... well like 43% of every waking moment for the entire species.

Which is just silly. Doggone silly.

Really. Think it through (I already did the math).

If the woman depicted above was to walk down the mall... the jaws of men would drop like the safety test at a ballbearing factory.

Okay, okay...she also has a very beautiful face. But men usually size up shape first.

It is not their fault. It is nature.

Not that initial nature cannot be counteracted.

Many men will fall in love and marry for a good long while a woman who is not so shapely. Perhaps this woman has even had a breast or two removed due to cancer. No matter. These men love their women come what may.

Other women are not "gifted" in this way. The are like boys with a slight puffiness in their chest. Yet, they have beautiful eyes and are luscious all the same.

We men are undone by the darndest things.

But all the while the 5th Avenue Ad-men/women understand quite well what sells. So they hit us with....er

Breasts.

Globular objects that we males were weened (or not) on.

It's really strange if you think about it.

******

So the woman above, who was incredibly beautiful to begin with, chose to "enhance" her breasts.

It is pretty obvious.

Why? We dunno.

But it got our attention (the 47% of us who cannot look away).

And another 27% of the species (women) also checked her out and went "peh".

So she got our attention.

But it is not real.

*******

Okay.

(I feel like Joe Pesci here.."okay...okay...okay...")

So here is the deal. Women who do not wish to "enhance" now often wish to "downsize".

It's not bad enough that corporate America wants to downsize, but now many women want to downsize.

I know this.

My Ex-wife downsized 5 years before I met her,

It was not pretty. (Out of respect I will save the details, but can you say "no feeling?")

Now my current girlfriend (who will make me sleep on the porch for the next week...it's okay..it's summer) suddenly wants to downsize.

Great.

Just fucking great.

******

She just announced this last night.

That and our current lack of intimacy sent me into a tidal pool where there was only lonliness, celibacy and an urchin or two...kinda spinny and sharp.

Life can be shit.

*******

So my girlfriend wants to downsize...breastwise. My Ex-wife did that and it left her sexually dead and lost.

Perfect.

Meanwhile a gazillion women are considering breast implants.

New term: "Breast Envy".

Can't we just let what is...be as it is?

*******

Personally, to me, the most beautiful thing about a woman is her face and her heart.

Note I said both.

I am not an idiot, though I play one in real life every once and awhile.

No, when I first met The Babeage (If Mimi can call Jay the Dude, I can call her The Babeage. No PC.) it was her eyes that immediately caught my attention. It was not till way later that I even thought about her breasts. Then I thought "oh this is good".

She has amazing eyes. Simply beautiful. That and her oriental hair drive me crazy.

********

Most women I have talked with, on any deep level about this have some sort of "relationship" with their breasts.

Some of them have names for "them", which I find a little silly as the "them" is a part of themselves. One woman I knew even called them "The Sisters", which I have a feeling is not all that uncommon.

I thought this strange until I remembered...gulp. "The rubber trout is all about", and suddenly I heard Iric Idle singing in the background...

So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,

Etc.

So I dunno anymore.

Objectification of others is harmful. Self-objectification is just plain weird.

*******

Well we need a conclusion to this tale.

We all know that breasts are an important part of life.

Before American companies started producing their own versions (mostly for third-world countries) it was how you lived your first year as a human being. It was how you were fed, male or female.

It was really holy if you think about it. And even now, when you see a woman breastfeeding her baby there is something sweet and holy about it.

(Remember, I'm The Saint. I get paid to observe these things).

Later, in adolescence comes the change. The boobs start to grow (often rather quickly) and everyone notices.

Yes, everyone.

And thus begins the dance of the breasts.

"They are not big enough"
"They are too big"
"Did you see her?"

Oh Lord (No Fundie).

This "Dance" continues on throughout adult life.

All over two globular objects with nipples.

*******

But is that really so?

I find The Babeage extremely attractive.

Why?

Is it her breasts?

No.

I do admit that her "shape" does something primordial to me.

There is a difference...subtle as it may be.

First, if it were not for her heart...her sweetness and respect and loving way I would not trust her.

I do.

Then she is really fun.

Then it's the eyes and the hair. (Hair is a lot more sexy than most people realize).

So on top of all of that she has this shape so utterly different than a man (no homo). Tank top wrapped around her curvaceousness...loose shirt...those eyes...oh shit.

And I get to sleep on the porch.

But that is all about initial attraction...or was.

Like romance, it recurs at the strangest of times, usually at the wrong moment. We can walk around here for days like siblings..then BANG. It hits me.

No one ever claimed life was fair.

This would not be me

But I'm still going for a few small waves this afternoon.

Here it is ...your Pascal quote of the day...

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.

Goes for women too.

And small animals.

None of us can be trusted.

"I killed the wabbit....poor wittle bunny..."

I keep getting this spam. I have filters but some shit gets through like obnoxious offers to re-fiance my home (i do not have one) or invest in the Stock Market (I have no money).

Eat me.

But the one that really gets me is the Jack Rabbit.

(Hear Mel Blanc saying "It IS the Ra-bitt!")

Of course it is just another household appliance because it has the red "As Seen On TV" sticker on it. So ya know it is good. Damn good. Like a Ronco Potato Peeler or a George Foreman Grill, or OXyClean or Ernest Borgnine anti-aging creme.

All good.

So rather than your man actually having to learn how to please you, you can buy this little Hot Rod.

Let's see what is under the hood (No Homo, No Anti-Semite...damn that is funny)

The Jack Rabbit Vibrator is a dual control multi-speed vibrating and rotating 7 1/2" x 1 1/2" Vibrator. Made of a bright pink, pliant jelly, the tip is realistically sculpted. The rotating pearls in the center of the shaft provide both internal and external stimulation to all her sensitive spots While the pearled shaft rotates and vibrates, massaging her inside, the Jack Rabbit's ears are busy tickling her clitoris outside. The shaft and stimulator are controlled separately, so she can customize her experience every time.

Rotating gawdaamn pearls?!!! (No Fundie)

Oh Fugh Me. It's the damned Darth Vader Death Star of vibration. (No Lucas)

I despair. (No Kierkegaard)

They use to say "the rabbit died" when conception happened. Now the damned think is named "Jack" and it does both parts!?

And you can just hear Jack..."well I guess this is as good as it gets..." and it is like purchasing a fughing sports car.

Well, I am strictly a hand operator and I do not need a goddamn 350 horsepower pearl-gyrating semi-pliant pink jelly-filled rotataing rabbit-eared 147-channel widescreen dish-operated vaginal probe to replace my simple love, devotion and creativity.

I killed the wabbit...poor wittle bunny...

__________________

And do not believe what you see on TV. Those people are perverts and morons. No one who lives there is real and you are.

Word.

Why I will become Buddhist

It is not for no reason that Westerners increasingly embrace Buddhism.

There are good reasons which , er... "the heart does not know" (Pascal).

The main one is "desire". The Buddha taught non-attachment. He recognized the discernible link between suffering and desire.

Imagine the poor Buddha walking down 5th Avenue or in Hollywood...or, just your favorite strip mall.

Imagine the Buddha chained to a chair and forced to watch the home shopping channel.

The Buddha had it easy.

While the Buddha may have had it easy, the Buddha still had it right.

The more you desire and are attached, the more suffering you will endure. This is undeniable.

And we live in a society that is built on sheer desire.

Lucky us.

It's not good enough for Brad Pitt to have Jennifer Aniston. He has to also want Angelina Jolie. Worse, he has to actually go after her. Why? Because he can.

Love and Desire in the Western World.

For most men, Jennifer would have been just fine (though personally I'd have gone for Jolie first...but that's because I am a moth).

So we suffer...the lot of us. We obtain and then desire again and there is no end to this wanting. Thus we suffer.

The more we want the more we suffer...but our whole society is built on wanting.

It's pretty nutzoid.

Even those of us who are smart enough to see this pattern cannot seem to do anything about it.

No Buddhism is the only way out.

(or, er...in if you like).

(I think I will look good in saffron).

Pascal and the Erpy J-Man

"Jesus is the God whom we can approach without pride and before whom we can humble ourselves without despair."

I didn't say it. Pascal did. He has a Math named after him. Jesus had a ...er, He had Pensees...Get off my back!

Word.

These days you cannot talk so much about the J-Man because of these dickheads who want to destroy the separation of Church and State and lead us into a Fundamentalist Dark Ages of their own making.

As Maugham Malraux says "And Jesus Never Stops Throwing Up".

As far as I can tell, The J-Man was into two things: Truth and Love.

Here are today's Truth and love Quotes...

1. Bono on Truth
2. Merton: The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.
3. er..be good to someone next to you.

More tomorrow..it should be a regular feature. I am a Saint after all.

But back to Pascal. Pithy little guy.

Pride, humility, God, Jesus, religion and spirituality. Hmnnn...oooh and despair.

God (No Fundie), ever have thoughts on any of those?

Dr. Malraux is right when he suggests that Jesus, the J-Man has been utterly co-opted by the Fundamentalists. We do not even read the Dude anymore because we are either Stepford Folk who do not need to, or we are so disgusted that we want no part of any of it.

That's where I am at. And I am a Saint. Go figure.

*********

So what does Pascal mean?

Part of this whole deal is for me to riff off his writings.

Pascal obviously thinks Jesus is God.

Well Okay...so do about a billion others on any given day...mindfully or otherwise. So what?

It is or it is not.

But more important than the consumeristic "WWJD?" , (which by the way treats Him as dead...which is very curious for a religion that preaches resurrection) is WDJWTD?

Just What Does Jesus Want to Do?

What Does he want now?

Does Jesus want Tim LaHaye writing books of fictional fear to scare folk, or does he want love?

Guess we would have to ask the J-Man...which seems lost on these idiots.

I mean look at the insanity of it! They believe Jesus is ALIVE...yet treat Him as utterly DEAD.

Fuhgers.

If He is ALIVE...er, resurrected...then you would pay the closest attention to Jesus's words right?

NAW!

"Let's do the OTHER thing and embrace war, murder, greed, envy and every other sin but sex...and then do that anyway...but behind closed doors"

Sermon on the Mount? Apparently irrelevant. Go read it next to the Religious Right agenda and weep.

Dr. Malraux is right...Jesus wakes from the Dead long enough to have a good long look...and never stops throwing up.

More in a bit..part two.. I need a break...

My Superpower? I can breath Soup...

Superpowers...

It's what we all want.

And many of us have them.

Like, for instance, I had the power to "stick my kids to the ceiling".

Not everyone can do that.

It entails holding a small child up against the ceiling with one very large hand.

You probably cannot do this because you are not 6'6" and your hand is not the size of a small net.

It's extra.

Other people have the superpower of making money even though they are idiots.

Others have the Health Insurance Superpower (they have it...we do not).

Others have Golf superpowers...or they can hit a baseball that would kill any one of us.

Superpowers.

Some have the Superpower of wit or honesty. I point you to Talleulah and Lara...and also Mimi.

Then there is the superpower of insight into the culture. Ah Ha!

Try Lindsey or Geekbird (who has a superpower name...true..not so good..but he does have one).

Chivarly is Not Dead

Chivalry is not dead...it's just most often found in a coma.

This I can walk away from...

...and have.

Desire. Many a time.

Then the women you desire do not feel likewise. They may love you (it is the best you will do) or you might meet one whose sex drive is like yours...but they will not love you.

So the choice is always the same. In a bad scenario it is between love, power and sex.

In a good scenario (Read Maugham's articles here) it is simplified to love and sex.

Either way you cannot have it all. You won't.

Name one couple that does, and if you say Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie you get sent to jail without possibility of intelligence parole.

I, personally choose love and loyalty over sex and passion. Yes, I am frustsrated often and will be. But I do not have to watch my backside and I am loved.

If you choose passion you will always be waiting for the dagger from behind. It will come often if not always.

The One who loves the least has the Power. Power is at the core of Narcissism where no love can exist. Passion is a double deception.

Both are death which is not love, and love alone.

So the real question remains to ourselves. How will I choose to love and how far will I go?

That's all you have any control over, and that is limited at best. As for others? Most of the time you are screwed.

But you can love.